The question may sound overly dramatic or philosophical, but if we’re thinking about it, it tends to be very personal.
We often ask ourselves this question when we’re in a strained relationship, whether it’s with a friend, family member, or partner, whose actions (or inactions) are continually causing pain to you, or themselves, or both.
This isn’t about forgetting to load the dishwasher, but rather things like substance use, or dishonesty, or behavior that’s detached or cruel.
Even when we come to terms with the fact that change is needed, and we communicate clearly with the person about it, actually achieving change can be much more complicated.
In the midst of our frustration, a deeper question bubbles up:
Are people capable of real change?
The Four Barriers to Change:
1. It’s really hard for any of us, to achieve significant change in our lives.
2. Wanting someone to change can lead to resentment—on both sides.
3. There can be bigger reasons why someone won’t change.
4. Maybe, it’s not them…it’s you. Often, we’re too emotionally or practically invested in the relationship to give up. It’s not just the other person, but ourselves, who is hard-pressed to grow beyond where we currently are.
However, even if human nature makes us capable of change, we don’t get there easily.
Keep in mind, change is constant, but that doesn’t make it easy.